


Joke

by Melime



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Out of Character, Parody, one of my first fics, surprisingly saved from being lost to time (and originally posted under a different username)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-11
Updated: 2007-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24752893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: Sirius decides to do a "little joke and finds out the problems of knowing everything about everyone.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 2





	Joke

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Brincadeira](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24752884) by [Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime%20GreenLeaf). 



> Note (2020): I present to you one of my earliest fics, brought here 13 years after it was originally posted under the username Princess Moony. It was originally written in Portuguese, when I was in middle school, so the translation, albeit done in 2020, was made in a way that could reflect my lack of linguistic skills at the time (and if something sounds weird, it’s probably because it sounds weird in Portuguese as well). As embarrassing as this window into my barely teenager self is, I wanted to preserve it here as a way to mark how much I evolved (and hopefully will continue to evolve). Although I won’t translate all the notes, it’s important to say this was heavily inspired by one of Luis Fernando Veríssimo’s short stories (I think one called "Brincadeira), and I do mean heavily, there’s barely any creativity here. Fun fact: wanting to read more wolfstar than was available in Portuguese significantly improved my English skills.

Sirius Black was always an intelligent man, but more than that, always was a smart man (Sirius Note (S/N): And incredibly sexy. Remus Note (R/N): Don’t get in the way of the fic! S/N: But you agree, no? R/N: This is irrelevant.), however not modest at all ¬¬. One day he had an idea and went to talk to his best friend.

Sirius: I know everything!

James: Don’t tell Lily!

Sirius: I’ll think…

James: But what do you know?

Sirius: I know of that night, but I won’t tell because you’re my friend.

James: Thank you!

And he tries again.

Sirius: I know what you did last summer!

Lucius: What exactly do you know? (suspicious)

Narcisa: Don’t tell mommy, she thinks I’m still a virgin! (nervous)

Sirius: I know you had sex! (laughing)

And tries again.

Sirius: I know everything!

Peter: I swear I didn’t think the food would end! Don’t tell anyone!

Sirius: Alright, but don’t do that anymore.

And again.

Sirius: I know everything!

Dumbledore: How?  
Sirius: I saw in your pensive.

Dumbledore: Don’t tell Minerva, she doesn’t know!

I day almost found an innocent.

Sirius: Remie, I know.

Remus: What?

Sirius: I just wanted you to know that I know.

Remus: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Sirius: You can stop, I know.

Remus: Know what?

Sirius: You know what I know.

Remus: No, I don’t know.

Sirius: Of course you know.

Remius: You don’t know nothing.

Sirius: Don’t play innocent.

Remus: But I don’t know nothing!

Sirius goes away.

-/-

Someone knows on the door.

Sirius: Remus, what are you doing here?

Remus: You got angry?

Sirius: What?

Remus: You got angry when you found out?

Sirius: I can’t get angry at you.

Remus: And disgusted?

Sirius: Stop saying silly things, I would never be disgusted of you, over nothing.

Remus: Over nothing? I’m sorry, it’s something I need to do.

Remus kisses him lightly, but seeing that the other would already move away, Sirius presses him against the wall and gives a real kiss.

“Then Remie’s secret is that he loves me? This can be interesting…”

Sirius: How long have you known?

Remus: That I love you? Since Hogwarts. And you?

Sirius: Since today.

They go back to kissing and soon the clothes start to fall.

Sirius: Do you know my room already?

Remus: No, naked not yet.

Sirius: Wanna know?

-/-

“Sirius Black!” a voice in the fireplace yells.

Sirius puts on an underwear and goes to there to take the fireplace bars to find the vice-president of the Order of the Phoenix, Minerva McGonagall.

Minerva: What happened to you?

Sirius was full of scratches, bites and others.

Sirius: I had the best… (looks at the clock) six hours of my life!

Minerva (red): I just wanted to know you are going to be the temporary keeper of the secret of the Order.

Sirius (O.O): WHAT?!

Minerva: This a trust position and you know everything of everyone and never says nothing.

Sirius: OK. I accept.

Remus (from the bedroom, with the voice sweet): Paddy? Where are you?

Minerva: Was the voice of Lupin?

Sirius: Goodbye, Minerva! (closes the bars to the fireplace). I’m going!

Sirius goes back to hours of not innocent at all things that involve a certain pervert dog animagus, a hyperexcited werewolf, a leash, a bed, a bathtub and a lot of noise coming from the bedroom, but this was censured.

-/-

Over two years later, Sirius receives a howler.

“I know everything!”

Sirius runs away in his flying bike.

Two months later he shows up dead. The neighbors said he was killed by death eaters and was yelling: “It was a joke, it was a joke!”, but the motive of the assassination everyone knew, he knew too much.


End file.
